Are we sick of talking about hormones yet?
Because I have a very real love/hate relationship with them.
On one hand, I find hormones fascinating. They control so much of what’s happening in our bodies, and when they’re working together harmoniously, everything functions better. They’re necessary for optimal health and yet they’re often overlooked.
On the other hand… I hate them. Hormones have been disruptive to my body since I was a teenager, eventually leading to a hysterectomy at just 39 years old. I’ve always been very open about my experiences. From horrendous painful periods starting as a teen, that not even birth control could tame, to finding out I had large fibroids in my thirties. That discovery led to multiple procedures, and eventually a complicated myomectomy in my mid-thirties due to the size and placement of multiple fibroids. A surgery that was necessary so I could safely carry a pregnancy to term. To shortly after surgery finally able to safely get pregnant, only to have a miscarriage.
Then, just a few years after having our daughter, the extreme symptoms returned and the fibroids came back. After trying a progesterone only birth control (at that point I hadn’t been on birth control for over a decade) which left me bleeding for weeks straight and excessive hair shedding. I decided it was time to take more extreme measures. And was faced with a decision I never imagined I’d have to make, a partial hysterectomy. It wasn’t an easy choice, but it’s one I’ve never regretted.
My quality of life did a complete 180. It made me realize that for nearly two decades, I had been managing and accepting pain levels that left me constantly exhausted and a Motrin regiment of 800-1000 mg doses necessary to function. But it was my “normal,” so I never questioned it. I just pushed through. I was so good at pretending everything was fine that when I started having procedures, each one more invasive than the last, so many people in my life were shocked. They had no idea I’d been dealing with it for so long.
Fast forward to now. Myself, many of my friends, and so many of my clients who are 40 and up are being absolutely bombarded by peri-menopause experts, hormone protocols, and HRT ads everywhere we turn.
Take these ten supplements, slap an estrogen patch on your ass cheek, drink this magic elixir all while wearing a weighted vest. Oh, and you should probably wash it all down with cottage cheese so you hit your protein goal for the day. It’s exhausting. And honestly, impossible to keep up with.
Every week it’s a new hormone-balancing protocol, delivered by another “everything I eat in a day at 50 to look this good” account. And let’s be real, it takes a lot of money to afford all the organic food, golden elixirs, and supplements they claim will fix your entire life. The reality is, not everyone wants (or can) spend absurd amounts of money on all of that. And no supplement is going to make you 25 again with the ability to grow your hair down to your ass in three months.
That said…who am I to tell you not to do it?
There are definitely things I do that may or may not work, but if they’re not harmful and they feel good, I’m all for it. For example, my nightly ritual of pure tart cherry juice mixed with three different types of magnesium for relaxation and digestion. Does it work? Who knows. But the ritual feels good, and sometimes that counts for something.
I don’t think a day goes by where a client in my chair doesn’t ask me about hair growth supplements, hormones, or menopause. We’re all just trying to suss out the bullshit, which feels nearly impossible most days. So when you ask me what I think, I’ll always give you my honest opinion. I don’t think hair growth supplements work, there I said it. Do I know that 100 percent? No. But if they’re not hurting you and it feels good to take them, go for it. Just also consider touching base with your doctor about the hair shedding before spending lots of money on supplements. Because from my own experience and what I see with clients, hormones are often the real culprit or possibly something systemic. So those overpriced supplements might not be what you actually need.
Hormones are incredibly complex, and as someone who’s struggled with them my entire life, I’m genuinely glad they’ve become a more common and open topic of discussion. At the same time, I’m frustrated watching companies, influencers, and “health hacks” prey on women’s health for profit.
When the topic comes up with clients or friends, I share my experiences openly always reminding them that everyone’s journey is different. Can I go on, when asked, about my journey with nutrition and exercise. Yes, and after two plus years of hard work and decades of trial and error, I can go on quite extensively. But without knowing what your body actually needs or why you’re feeling the way you do, what worked for me might not work for you.
Listen, I was a teen in the ’90s. We took Fen-Phen, did Jazzercise, and thought we were martial arts experts thanks to Billy Blanks Tae Bo. Then came my years in Southern California, the land of wellness and health food options everywhere. If I wasn’t drinking beers at Jolten Joe’s when I was supposed to be taking clients in hair school, I was around the corner slamming wheatgrass shots or drinking a 1,000-calorie whey peanut butter smoothie that I thought was me being “healthy”.
If there was anything I could do to get in better shape or a vitamin that promised to make me glow from head to toe just by taking it, I absolutely tried it. I even went vegan for a year to try to shrink my fibroids naturally after asking my doctor if it was okay to try before surgery. He said, “Sure, go for it…I’ll see you in a year for surgery.” And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.
This was 2013, the year I went vegan and fully committed to oversharing my life on Instagram. Naturally, I documented every new vegan culinary skill. Including a sweet potato bunny face. Yes, I posted it. No, I don't regret it.. I also did multiple juice cleanses. I can admit it now, they were awful. I was starving the entire time and gained back any weight I lost immediately. Because of course I celebrated finishing a juice cleanse with lots of alcohol and a late-night diner run.
So I really feel for anyone who just wants to feel better and is willing to try almost anything to get there.
What I’d love to see is more research and more doctors not brushing off hormones being out of whack as a possible culprit. At the same time, I’m genuinely glad to see people talking more openly with one another about their experiences, and the support that’s coming from that shared honesty.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is this, don’t settle for answers that don’t feel right. Listen to your body. And listen to your intuition. There’s no need to push through and suffer.
In a way, I’m grateful for my experiences now that I have a daughter of my own. I feel better equipped to help her navigate all the changes our bodies go through. It’s also why I share so openly with clients, so they know they’re not alone, and so maybe my own experience encourages them to advocate for their health and their right to feel better.
Pictured below is from one week to three weeks post hysterectomy in March 2021. I felt so good in my body again that I needed my hair to reflect it. The copper wasn’t impulsive, it was about feeling like myself again.
After 20 years
I’ve been thinking about my career a lot lately. How, when I first started my passion for being a hairstylist never wavered. But now, it seems easy to lose the spark I have for it. Some things feeling like output and performance, influenced by the chaos and noise around us. Not one to sit back and let things happen to me, I really started to dig deep. I realized if I slow down and create with intention, I can find it. The place where the love for hair lives now. When your passion disappears from the surface, making itself a little harder to find or at times feels nonexistent, that’s when it’s important to pull back and listen to yourself. As creatives we need to remember what fulfills us can evolve, sometimes quickly and in unexpected ways. Listen to that voice and your intuition, after all it knows you best
Photo from a recent collaboration at the Sonne Studios Baltimore
Model - Joely
Photo - Gabby Minkiewicz